can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize