just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
