Please, let me fuck your mom
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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