i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
