They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
