Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
