what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
