When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
