i was born a porn star she said
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
