I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
