Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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