The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
