Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize