Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
