There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
