i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
