I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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