i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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