Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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