Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
