areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
