I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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