Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
