Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
love makes seman taste better
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
