honey bunches of taint.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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