it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
