Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Text me some of your sweat
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
