I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wish there were birth control emojis
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
