pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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