dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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