Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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