Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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