Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
