did you get engaged???
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize