Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have fence marks all over my body
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
