haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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