my vag is so smooth its legendary
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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