Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
