Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She even gives head with a lisp.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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