You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
