I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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