ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
