Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
