So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
