Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
