some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
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