Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
