were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
