is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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