Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Im part way to drunk.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
