so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
