if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
