the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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