Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
