Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
