I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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