I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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