My nipple is on Facebook.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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