Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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