i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
