so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
they need to just BURY HIM!
accomplished twins. life is a go
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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